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Sarcastic Movie Fan's Oscar Nominated Movie Reviews
By Sarcastic Movie Fan |
There Will Be Blood - Man was that a boring movie. Afterwards I went back to the box office and declared, "There will be a refund."
No Country for Old Men – I suppose it was good, but I liked it better when it was called: (Insert any Quentin Tarantino movie here.)
Juno – I know it's just a movie, but you still need somewhat of a believable premise for me to enjoy it. The skinny kid from Superbad knocking up Ellen Page is anything but a believable premise.
Michael Clayton – A disgruntled legal man fights a large and corrupt corporation whose practices have knowingly harmed the common man. Ah, excuse me, Mr. Clayton, John Grisham called, he wants the plot to every one of his books back.
Atonement – I got to see Keira Knightly topless in The Hole; which means there is no reason to sit through another one of her movies, unless I want to see a lady I am taking to the movies topless later on that night, in which case a Knightly vehicle is the way to go. |
Sweeney Todd – When I heard Sacha Baron Cohen was in it I knew I had to go see this movie! When I heard he would not be playing Borat I knew I had to stay away!
American Gangster – I like gangster movies like I like my opera; with good looking Italian people. If I wanted to see a white cop go after a black guy I'd stand outside my house and wait five minutes.
Dan in Real Life – What; Dan in Real Life wasn't nominated for an Oscar? Oh that's right; it's a good old fashioned feel good comedy with heart, a genre Academy voters frown upon.
Elizabeth: The Golden Age – Cate Blanchett plays a better queen than Tom Hanks in Philadelphia!
Eastern Promises – Really? An evil Russian? Didn't the Cold War end like 20-years ago? Oh that's right, we can't portray any other race, creed, color or religion as evil. |
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