Serial Ass-Graber Upset Arrest Didn't Make Drudge Report |
Carson City, NV - Truck driver John Travis was anxious to log on to his computer after his ex-wife posted bail for his arrest on charges of groping women, Underneath Politics has learned.
"I immediately pulled up my Internet Explorer and went to the Drudge Report, where I thought for sure I would find a link to the article about my arrest in the Carson City Tribune," he said.
Sadly for Mr. Travis, he chose to get arrested the same day a New York man ran through Central Park naked smacking women on the buttocks with a fly swatter.
"I felt two stories about psychotic perverts in one day would be overkill," Matt Drudge, founder of the popular Internet site said. "Maybe on a Friday I would have included a story about the arrest of Mr. Travis, but not a Sunday. Sunday is a day that families spend together and I promote my radio show that no one listens to."
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Mr. Travis feels his resume speaks for itself. "Every day the Carson City Police Department got complaints from at least five women about a strange man grabbing their butt," he said. "Those kinds of numbers belong in the record books, and this Drudge guy doesn't consider them worthy enough to be on his lousy website, which specializes in reporting the behavior of deranged individuals! It's an outrage!"
However Mr. Travis has not completely given up his dream to be on Drudge. "I am hoping that a repeat arrest will make it happen," he said. "That way Drudge can write a headline like, 'Nevada Pervert Arrested a Second Time for Ass Grabbing!'"
If that doesn't work Mr. Travis is thinking of turning his attention to members of his own family. "I know it's a little too 'Alabama,' but maybe if I were arrested for grabbing my own sisters buttocks Drudge would start to take notice."
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